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It happened in...

April



It ain't half hot, Mum

SUN 30 APRIL

And the garden's springing into colour. After a very cold winter, the azaleas are blooming like seldom before. As this week is Golden Week - a week of national holidays - it's time to hit the garden centre and set to work.

Viva Rosso!

SUN 30 APRIL

The local football team, Rosso Kumamoto, is in the JFL, which is a nominally amateur league below the professional J1 and J2 divisions. I finally made it to a game today, after shying off the end of last season on the basis that the Japanese labour under the misapprehension that football is a summer game, and there was no way I was going to sit in the sun in 100% humidity and 30° heat to see a game that didn't involve Liverpool.

And they've got off to a decent start this season, sitting in 6th place (of 18) before today's game, against Mitsubishi Mizushima at the KKWing stadium just up the road in Mashiki. I was impressed with the turnout, which was just one body shy of 9,000. And Rosso battered Mitsubishi, who couldn't really hold on to the ball, nor string any passes together, and had little in the way of defence. Machida scored a hat-trick and Takahashi the other as Rosso strolled home 4-0. Having only seen the one game, I don't know whether this is a sign of impending dominance, or simply weak opposition. I shall see next time.

Nintendo throw away their future in the games console market

SUN 30 APRIL

So Nintendo had a perfectly good name for their new console while it was in development - Revolution. Now that it's ready they've inexplicably decided to change the name. From their own website...
Introducing... Wii.
As in "we"
Or as in "wee".

So the whole of their global English-speaking demographic is now smirking or rolling their eyes, and the Japanese consumers are cursing another brand name they won't be able to pronounce. The other console makers will be overjoyed.

KitKat latest

FRI 28 APRIL

Hey kids! Time to get over-excited and hyperactive as bad uncle Overoften feeds you full o' the latest KitKat creation - the first psychedelikat, the KitKat Fruit Parfait! Just look at those swirls of fruity goodness. You can keep yer Skittles - this is the real rainbow of fruit flavour. I bought a couple, just in case preliminary testing was inconclusive and we needed a re-run. Initial reports suggest a massive sugar content. Yeah!

'Does God really care about us?'

FRI 28 APRIL

...is the title of the latest Watch Tower, the publication of the Jehovah's Witnesses. How do I know this? Because I've just answered the door to one. (Well I had to. Because it's almost always someone who wants money I don't wish to part with or a vote that I simply don't have, I've developed a highly cunning tactic I like to call "Ignore them and they'll go away". But as I had music blaring and windows open, I didn't think "Stay stock-still till they think no one's home" would be particularly convincing.)

Incredible. When religious types tell you that "God is everywhere", they're really talking about Jehovah's Witnesses.

She's got it... she's a star

WEDS 26 APRIL

Follow yesterday's link and you'll find that our gracious model has kindly submitted to 3 further episodes.

Proud to present...

TUES 25 APRIL

Overoften brings you, episode 1 of what might become an exciting new regular cartoon strip. Depending on an as-yet-to-be-determined level of Being Arsed.

To Cardiff, then

MON 24 APRIL

So it's to be a Liverpool / West Ham F.A. Cup final on May 13. Liverpool last won it in 2001, sublimely 'stealing' it from Arsenal with two stunning Michael Owen goals in the last 8 minutes.

West Ham last raised the cup in 1980, stealing it, with a rare headed goal from Trevor Brooking, from... Arsenal. Though it was 26 years ago (*gulp*), I remember the day vividly as I'd put up a colourful, handmade West Ham banner in my bedroom window. Not because I used to be a West Ham supporter, of course. Simply to annoy the Arsenal-supporting neighbours. Guess that was an early sign of a later, dominant character trait.

Democracy takes another hit!

SUN 23 APRIL

Japundit Podcast listeners were massed and marching on the Northern Kanto Plain today in protest at the centre of power's outrageous rejection of a popular vote.

"You may be surprised at the final decision," JP intoned into the mic as he prepared to announce the 'results' of the Will Bart Be Canned? referendum.

Wherein then lay the surprise? Not the result certainly. 5 for the "Can 'im" camp against 4 for "Keep 'im". No, the surprise is that in a Berlusconi-style twist, JP rejected the clear-cut decision of The People as "indecisive". In a political move that would raise even Tony Blair's eyebrows, the head of the Japundit Network has made a mockery of so-called democracy after not getting the result he wanted.

The UN has yet to annouce whether it will be sending in a peace-keeping force, though one spokesman was quoted as saying "5's hardly a crowd, is it."

More on this shocking story as it develops.

The pinnacle of evolution

SUN 23 APRIL

From Portland, Oregon comes news of a highly unusual suicide attempt. None of that namby-pamby sleeping pills or blood-letting - an unidentified 33-year-old had 12 two-inch nails removed from inside his skull after attempting (and failing) suicide with a nail-gun. The news report goes to on say, rather redundantly to my mind, that he "had been high on methamphetamine at the time".

Dr Alexander West, the neurosurgeon who oversaw the man's treatment, reported that "no one before is known to have survived after intentionally firing so many foreign objects into the head". His report also goes on to say that "the man survived with no serious lasting effects," although he is still apparently the sort of person who would fire a dozen nails, one by one, into his head, so perhaps the lack of effects is a disadvantage.

The man, the news report states rather archly, "was later transferred to psychiatric care".

It's the little things

SUN 23 APRIL

Don't you love putting on a coat or a jacket that you've not worn for a while and finding something in the pocket. Of course, money is always good, but the thrill is cheap and short-lived and might only make you wish it could have been more. Far better is something of no value at all, but with a good memory attached to it. That's a great way to start a day, even or perhaps even especially a dull, overcast one like today. It takes you out of the present and back to a moment that you can't help but smile about.

FA Cup semi-final

SUN 23 APRIL

Chelsea 1 Liverpool 2 - It's just after 3 in the morning and I'm going to try to get some sleep now. It may be a while before I manage to drop off. 5 minutes of injury time will do that to you.


KitKat latest

SAT 22 APRIL

The world of KitKat fandom is a wide one indeed, and today I must share with you not a general release Kat or even a limited edition Kat, but the fruits of private enterprise - the PimpKat, a work of deranged genius.

Created by Mr Steve Piers and fully documented at www.pimpmysnack.com, the PimpKat shows the only limit to creativity is your imagination. One penalty point for the inexcusable inclusion of the satanic peanut butter, but overall, what results from Steve's curiosity is a work of bloated, monstrous, excessive beauty.

Now if Steve can knock this together for a mere five quid with ingredients from his local Sainsbury's, I'm sure Nestlé, with their huge economies of scale, could do something reasonable. So come on, Nestlé! Stop messing around with dodgy white chocolate repackaging - give the punters what they really want!

Where are your manners?

FRI 21 APRIL

As a foreign citizen, I can't vote in Japan, but let's be clear - even if I could, I wouldn't. On point of principle. If you or, more likely, your minions drive up and down my bloody road all bloody day on the back of a sound truck, screaming "Arigatou gozaimasu!" and your bloody name, you ain't getting my vote. Isn't it enough that your slaves have been hammering on my front door repeatedly, some of them even going so far as to open it, many times a day for the last fortnight, for the dreadfully important business of handing me flyers with your mug on 'em which go straight into my recycling pile? And this is for minor local elections.

So here are the new rules. If I recognise your face, or your name - no votes. Next time the doorbell gets wired to the mains.

O-oh, me ears are alight

FRI 21 APRIL

I'm trying to watch my newly-arrived Blackadder dvds, but I'm really being put off by the subtitles. Not just because I can't get rid of them - no matter whether I select OFF from the dvd's own menu, or from the software options, they just won't disappear. It's more because they appear to have been cobbled together by someone at the BBC whose first language isn't (British) English.

You would therefore expect 'meter' and 'honor' and perhaps guesswork led them to 'Arnost Grove', but how 'Massingbird' (after appearing 3 times correctly only seconds before) becomes 'Mattingburg' and "settled in" becomes "saddled in", who knows. What does "Reining [should be "written"] all your last goodbyes?" even mean? What's a "bluffo [bluff, old] traditionalist", can you tell me?

They're no better off in German either. "Schnell, schnell, Kartoffelkopf!" (potato-head) comes out as "die koppeltop", but first prize goes to poor "Ober-Leutnant von Genschler" who is curiously mangled to "Obel-Ointment Fungentula".

And this is just the first 10 minutes.

The best laid plans...

THURS 20 APRIL

So Chinese President Hu is lapping up his ultra-formal visit chez Bush, and he's adding up how many points this is winning him at home as it's beamed live on Chinese state tv, and then the White House announcer booms over the public address "...and now the national anthem of the Republic of China". Clang! Oh dear. Perhaps that'll go unnoticed by most at first. But it'll enrage the Chinese. "The Republic of China" is, after all, the official name of the government of Taiwan. Hu comes from "the People's Republic", of course.

And to ice that little cake, a protestor then breaks ranks and, while Hu is speaking, heckles him with very loud complaints about the PRC's treatment of the Falun Gong.

Well, look on the bright side Mr Hu, it can only get better from here.

Reminders of summer

TUES 18 APRIL

At this time of year, taking a stroll at dusk is rewarded by the evening emergence of bats. As I cut through the farms to the top road this evening, there were dozens on the move. Having done a bit of research, I think the local bats are Black Whiskered Bats, a small species about the size of pipistrelles. I love glimpsing them fluttering by, slower than birds and so just about visible in the fading light, and that's perhaps why they've always been fascinating - rarely fully visible and never seen close up. Similar bats used to come out when, as kids, we were still playing out in the summer in Higham.

Back to earth, back to work

TUES 18 APRIL

Well Mum and Dad left Kumamoto yesterday and flew out of Tokyo this afternoon, and are probably somewhere over eastern Europe as I type. A wonderful holiday.

Good Time Charlie

SAT 15 APRIL

I'd been beginning to question whether I was fated never to get to the famous Good Time Charlie's, the country & western bar run by local legend Charlie Nagatani. Every time we'd planned to, we'd got sidetracked. But tonight we pulled ourselves together and finally made it over the hallowed threshold.

And there on stage were Good Time Charlie and the Cannonballs, who belted out a few numbers before Charlie came over, introduced himself and welcomed us and stopped for a chat. Kumamoto might not be the first place you'd think of in connection with country & western, but Charlie is the organiser of Country Gold, an annual country festival which takes place up in Aso every October, and attracts musicians and fans from all over the world.

The bar itself, nice and spacious by Kumamoto's standards, is decked out in an astonishing array of memorabilia and gifts from down the years, and photos of Charlie with just about every VIP in the world. I was particularly taken by the entire shelf behind the bar taken up by bottles of Jim Beam... with Charlie's own picture on each one.

If you're in Kumamoto, you have to check this place out. Whether you're a fan of country music or not, you'll enjoy a night at Good Time Charlie's.

KitKat latest

FRI 14 APRIL

Coming as this did, towards the end of the evening, can't really say as I remember too much about this one. And my research assistants haven't been able to shed too much light on it either. But we vaguely recall a half-decent Mild BitterKat. Probably not at all bad.

Okinawa

SUN 9 - WEDS 12 APRIL

Ask any Japanese about Okinawa, and they'll say, not without a certain fondness, that Okinawa isn't like Japan, it's a completely different country. And of course they're right. The climate's different - Okinawa feels tropical, even now in early April. The architecture is different - in an area prone to regular battering from typhoons, most buildings on the main island are built from concrete, but with some imagination and colour. The people are different - gone is the mainland formality and stiffness, most people we met were relaxed and talkative. And the culture is different. The Okinawans are rightly proud of what is Okinawan, which seems at turns closer to Polynesia or old China than modern Japan.

While it was cloudy and dull outside, Naha airport greeted us with orchids. As far as the eye could see, the entire airport was decked out in all colours of orchids.

Once we'd settled into our hotel (the modestly named "Super Hotel"), we headed out to Shuri Castle - seat of the Sho dynasty, the rulers of the Ryukyu kingdom for nearly five centuries - just outside Naha city centre, which was equally colourful and quite unlike traditional monochrome Japanese castles. In the evening, the streets of Naha were abuzz. The shops were still busy, and full of both the traditional and the kitsch.

The next morning we were up early to visit the Okinawa World park, south of Naha, and to venture into Gyokusendo cave, a huge limestone cave system. There are apparently many caves in southern Okinawa, and this one's nearly 5km long, though only a fifth of that is open to the public, taking you through small tunnels squeezing between stalactites on either side, into massive ceilinged 'halls'.

After making our way north to Nakijin, to rest for the next couple of days, we're warned of the local natural nasties we should look out for. But not all of them send folks scurrying for safety. The habu is a deadly snake found on the Okinawan islands. Best avoided, you'd think, as it's easily capable of killing of large cattle. But no. Okinawans make grog out of 'em. The habu is pickled in a variety of awamori, the local variety of sake, which is then considered a health tonic and cure-all. I... didn't have time to pick up a bottle.

Another highlight of any stay on Okinawa should be a visit to Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium, quite simply the most spectacular aquarium I've ever visited. The enormous central tanks, housing (among many hundreds of others) giant rays and whale sharks, are surrounded by exhibit tanks of the weird and wonderful of all kinds. The scale of the place is staggering and the cafe has the best seats in the house.

We didn't even begin to scratch the surface of this fascinating tropical chain of islands. Four days is just about enough to let you know you're no longer in Japan and also to make you realise you really want to come back.

...and home

THURS 6 APRIL

On Thursday we left the sulphur-filled air and bubbling pools of Unzen behind us and made for the seashore in Shimabara.

A stroll along the town's famous koi stream took us up to Shimabara-jo. By then, though, we were all thoroughly exhausted and headed for the ferry to take us home. On board, we engaged in the traditional sport of feeding the flock of seagulls that follow the ferries, chasing and greedily swooping for bread.

To Unzen...

WEDS 5 APRIL

Unzen is a spa-town nestling high in the mountains south-east of Nagasaki. It's also the name of the enormous, still-active volcano rising out of the centre of the Shimabara peninsula.

We were treating ourselves by staying at the wonderful Yumoto Ryokan with both inside and open-air onsen (hot spas), huge rooms, and food the likes of which I'm unlikely to see again soon. I could have put up with that sort of luxury for a good deal longer.

In Nagasaki...

TUES 4 APRIL

Nagasaki greeted us with torrential downpours, which seemed appropriate for spending the afternoon in the Atomic Bomb Museum, which of course is an intense and sobering experience, spending a few hours with photos of the destruction wrought on an unsuspecting city on a hot summer morning, August 9th 1945, and article remnants of homes, businesses, schools, lives and people, seeing at first hand the scale and reading and hearing personal testimonies from survivors.

Near the Museum there are two parks - one which, along with being the home of the forlorn Mother and Child, also marks with a simple black granite block the hypocentre, the point above which the bomb exploded. The other is the Peace Park, with its famous Peace Statue, colossal and again set on plain black marble.

I can't get no... Caramacs

TUES 4 APRIL

You, that is. I've got plenty.

The Grand Tour

MON 3 APRIL

While the cherry blossoms were fading in the city, we took to the hills to get probably our final burst, at the risk of over-dosing on sakura.

In Kikuchi, north-east of Kumamoto, the townsfolk were out in force enjoying the very warm weather and having picnics under the many cherry trees lining the lane up to the shrine on the hill. From Kikuchi, we carried on up into Aso, but not before I'd enjoyed my sakura ice cream!

A trip to Takamori's Senbonzakura (One Thousand Cherry Trees) Park, proved the climate in the mountains is quite different, as the trees there aren't yet in full bloom. The disappointment of this was soon forgotten in the excitement of spying a wild monkey sitting under a tree on a hill, though unfortunately he moved way too fast for anyone to be able to get a photo.

After a round trip of about 100 miles, it was back through Ozu (and past this shrine) and home. Tomorrow, off to Nagasaki.

Everywhere you go, you always take the weather

SUN 2 APRIL

After a week of fine cherry blossom viewing weather, the day of our own hanami arrives and the heavens open and the sky turns black. So instead the picnic stays indoors, and we open a few bottles.

On holiday

SAT 1 APRIL

Mum 'n Dad have arrived, safe and sound. Two weeks of infrequent updates start now.



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