It happened in...
C-c-c-cold
28 February
February must be my least favourite month of the year. With its cold, and its rain, and its complete lack of any redeeming features. But at least it's usually only dull.
This February certainly went out kicking and screaming like a raucous drunkard being ejected from Weatherspoon's with his girlfriend tottering along behind on 6 inch stilettoes, screeching, "Getchor 'ands off 'im!"
Had a lovely weekend lined up. Had an extra day off, was going to meet up with some friends, go for a few drinks, go to my first ever baseball game. And on Sunday evening I was going to sit and watch Liverpool beat Chelsea to lift the league cup (say nothing).
And then I developed a fever, the cause of which was a tooth abscess, and got whisked off to hospital.
The dentist actually took me there himself in his own car, which was a great deal more than he needed to do, and handed me over to an English-speaking surgeon who decided that the best course of action was to excise the infection by cutting through my gum. I really wanted to have misheard that bit, but he was quite clear on that, and went about his work before I had too long to think about it. After half an hour of this advanced butchery, I was filled with wonderfully strong painkillers and sent home to catch up on the sleep I'd missed.
So with a mouthful of stitches and a 'drain' tube protruding from a hole in my gum, we say goodbye to February and trust March brings better with it.
25 February
It's been a quiet week, but the news and the papers are dominated by just one story which is very interesting from the point of view of a student of Japan. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin...
There's a big corporate battle going on. The prize? NBS, the Nippon Broadcasting System is up for grabs, and the major shareholders are desperately attempting to divvy up enough of the carcass to have the majority share and gain overall control. The key to the squabble though is who the players are, and who their mates are.
In the blue corner, we have Old Japan in the shape of Fuji TV, the ubiquitous grey-suited salaryman. In the red corner, we have New Japan in the form of the impudent upstart with the fat wallet, the internet service provider, Livedoor, dressed in casual slacks and a comfy jumper.
Now, Livedoor were a bit naughty and went behind everyone's back to do a bit of after-hours trading the other week and grabbed a sizeable chunk of NBS. This cheesed Fuji off no end, and probably frightened them some too. So they called their mates at Tokyo Electric Power (TEPCO) and Kodansha, two major shareholders in NBS, and struck a deal to buy their shares. But at the same time, it seems that NBS themselves are prepared to leave the door open long enough to let Fuji in and buy another chunk of stock (they granted Fuji a 'subscription warrant' to acquire 47.2 million new shares). Which kind of buggers up Livedoor's chances, really.
But Livedoor aren't showing any signs of giving up yet. They decry this move as illegal and are going to court. Meanwhile Fuji are happy to sit back and ride this one out, knowing that Livedoor can't really afford a protracted legal battle, billions and billions of yen in debt already.
Tokyo was unsurprised yesterday when the share prices of all concerned plummeted.
23 February
The last few times I've stayed up to catch the Liverpool game on the net, they have of course lost. I have had this anti-Midas touch where football is concerned for many years now. (As my brother will attest, having banned me from Wembley for the most important game in his team's history. Well, in fairness, it was my idea, not wanting to put the mockers on it, but he agreed rather too readily, and with an audible sigh of relief, as I remember. And it worked, they won.)
So needless to say, I went to bed rather than watch perhaps Liverpool's best performance in Europe this century (well there's not much material to choose from, is there?) and awoke to news of a new Liverpool European dawn. Hmm. Let's not get our hopes up just yet, lads. Good result though. (Liverpool 3 Bayer Leverkusen 1, if you inexplicably missed it.)
20 February
At the local Agricultural Park, today was the last day of the Garden Fair, where many local firms, gardeners and landscapers have been exhibiting their wares and services for the last 3 weeks. The landscapers had built sample gardens on the grounds, and by far the best were those of a certain Mr Hashimura. Take a bow Mr H!
19 February
Courtesy of an anonymous contributer (for which, many thanks), we're going back a year or two for a Spot the Celebrity competition.
18 February
An interesting fact. Well, to me at least. Here's a picture of a tapir. A plain looking creature. But here's a picture of a baby tapir, fully-decorated and wearing racing stripes and spots. Where does all that go? And why?
This tapir was born this week at Belfast Zoo, as were these giraffes.
17 February
There are some very odd games available to the Japanese gamer. Some are so willfully and impenetrably odd that I can't even begin to comprehend the point of them. Then there are yet others that occupy a whole other plane of strangeness. One such offering for the Playstation is Naoko Takahashi no Marathon Shiyou Yo! (it's a marathon running game, folks). Yes, you too can play a simulation of running an entire marathon from your sofa. But not of course until after doing the whole management bit (a la Championship Manager) behind the scenes for, presumably, hours beforehand. The spiritual rewards must be enormous. You'd imagine.
Another is Ka: Yamada-ke No Natsu (known elsewhere as Mr Mosquito - Summer with the Yamadas), where you fly around the Yamada household as the eponymous insect and try to suck as much blood from the humans as you can without being swatted.
16 February
I expect it's a busy day wherever you are. You know, what with the street party and everything.
Yes, 16 February is of course the birthday of everyone's favourite mass-murdering munchkin, Krazy Kim Jong-Il.
And once you've celebrated the great day at your local street party, you can watch one of many documentaries about the great genius on any number of your TV channels, and gaze lovingly at the portraits of the Asian Adonis published in your local newspaper.
This is what North Korean media is telling its people, at least. I'm not going to put a link to the Korean Central News Agency (first link on Google) on this site, but there are a number of stories there about the "world-famous genius, excellent strategist and brilliant commander and [...] the great leader of the heroic people" (apart from the 3 million killed of course. Not them.)
Must go - the Pyongyang Parade is coming past the front door, and I can feel a bit of flag-waving coming on!
15 February
It may only be February, but the Headline of the Year competition has been won already. No publication will better this effort from today's online English edition of the Mainichi Daily News. So you have a story about a formerly famous singer, Masako Mori, who allegedly attempted an overdose due to the depression brought about by her father being critically ill in hospital... Headline?
Wait for it...
Suicidal pop idol pops pills as ill Pops practically pops off
A masterpiece of insensitivity. Bow down, News of the World, for you are not worthy.
14 February
Now, as my wife will tell you, I'm romantic every day of the year, so I regard Valentine's day as the over-rated pile of commercial cack that it really is. There's nothing less romantic than when it's expected, eh? But I got presents from 3 of my students. Bless them.
Maybe a part of me was hoping this would drive my wife into rage of furious jealousy, but I certainly wasn't expecting her just to say, "Ooh, cake!"
And fellas, on Valentine's day in Japan, only the girls have to buy presents. Nice. The way it should be, too.
13 February
Off on a day trip to Nagasaki today. So we get on a coach at the bus station to make the 3 hour journey. Coach-drivers must be the same the world over, cos just like most National Express drivers, this one was kicked out of Formula 1 for being too reckless. It's fast lane and overtaking all the way. Not so worrying in itself, until the whole experience takes a sinister twist. The only bit of the 'in-flight' movie that I understand is where a number of the main characters die horribly in a massive coach crash, which sees their coach tumble off a bridge and smash to pieces in a ravine...
Looking around at faces, not a single person seems to register the astonishing lack of taste. I turn to my book.
But the reason for the journey is that it's Chinese New Year, and Nagasaki's Chinatown marks the occasion with a lantern festival. The whole place is hung with handmade paper and cloth lanterns. The smaller backstreets have a ceiling of red paper, while the shopping mall was decorated with lanterns made by local schoolchildren. As we wandered up the hill to a temple, we caught this Chinese dragon dance at dusk.
Of course, after dark is when you see what you came to see, and the decorations come alive in the evening. This one was about 20 feet tall and took pride of place on a bridge, but again it was the backstreets that were abuzz. How long it takes the people of Nagasaki to put these lanterns together is anybody's guess, but I would imagine it's an all year round affair.
I have one last picture of a temple 'offering' which I feel I must post, though animal-lovers and vegetarians should think twice before clicking this link. Yes, they're real.
10 February
It was never just a game of football.
Japan 2 North Korea 1
As you might know, Japan and North Korea's shared history and political relationship has been extremely rocky. So the tension before last night's WC qualifier was high, tv was full of it, and the police were worried that it might kick off at the stadium in more ways than one. (Despite the fact that no native North Koreans were allowed to leave NK to travel to the match, there was sizeable support from ethnic North Koreans resident in Japan).
The lady in the takeaway shop was concerned to know if we'd seen the result, and her face lit up when she was told. Breakfast tv this morning has been full of it. Replaying the goals ad nauseam, and replaying scenes of the crowd reacting to the injury-time winner, and replaying the commentators going stratospheric.
I'd say it's a good day to be a Japanese football supporter.
8 February
So I see that the UK papers are full of Ellen MacArthur. "Britain's greatest-ever sailor" and "Ellen The Invincible" and "the whole country will salute her" from the more drossy papers with apparently little else to print.
To which I say, "So what?"
She deserves congratulations certainly. But perspective, people. She hasn't done anything new. She's helped nobody and entertained very few. What she's done is broken a world record, in an entirely individual and ego-driven pursuit. There is nothing added to the greater good and nothing to be learned. And Downing Street has announced that at the age of 28, she's to be made a dame for this.
Well I'm going to have a crack at the world eating-baked-beans-with-a-cocktail-stick record. Should I shave a microsecond off the record time, I expect nothing less than front page press photos and a life peerage.
7 February
Saw a couple of films last night, both to be filed under 'A bit odd'.
First was Big Fish - a great yarn told as only Tim Burton can. This was completely outweirded, though, by Vacuuming completely nude in Paradise starring Timothy Spall as the most repellent salesman (and that's up against some stiff competition, as you might imagine) in Britain. How Spall survived the making of this film without having a stroke, I'll never know. Highly recommended if you like your comedy black and grubby.
4 February
Wowed the crowds with my super new short haircut today. The clippers came out last night, and the head was shaved to a mere 10mm of stubble. Personally, I like it. Short, smart, easy to care for. The difference though is big and, somewhat disturbingly, a little marked for some people to take, who react with a splutter or a laugh. Fortunately my ego is not stick brittle and doesn't shatter irreparably in the face of this style-ignorance.
3 February
Bought The Getaway (for PS2) today, a game that lets you drive around the streets of central London at insane high speeds, shooting people who get in your way and damn the consequences. A dream come true. The attention to detail is quite incredible, so no suprise that the game was over five years in the making. It brings about a wistful sigh, as I mount the New Bond Street pavement, accelerate to over 80mph, scattering ladies-who-lunch as I go. A pang of homesickness, as the bloody Oxford Circus tourists bounce off the bonnet as I speed down the pedestrian section (the roads are awfully crowded, you know). And a tug at my heart strings as ram the pursuing police cars off the road and into one of the Royal Parks. Ah, how restful a drive in the city can be.
2 February
This month, overoften.org.uk is selling out.
Yes, I'm having a taste of corporate whoredom, and selling advertising. So throughout February, this page will be liberally splattered with intrusive and needless commercials for products that you either don't want, or already have. So if the page is a little slower in loading, it's because it's creaking under the weight of my wallet.
1 February
It began snowing in earnest last night, and it's bitterly cold today. Big hail-like blobs (I hope you're familiar with this meteorological terminology) falling, and crumbling as they land. Thank buddha, then, for the warming and soporific effect of Kumamoto Public Transport. It doesn't leave you standing at the bus stop for ages, and it lulls you into a deep sleep once you're inside. I must've read about 6 lines of my book before I drifted off into slumber. And somehow I always wake up the stop before mine. Always worked on London trains too.
Hope you're enjoying the treasure hunt - it's a race to the finish!
Just seen a disturbing online ad for "Used Food and Beverage Machinery". Having hastened to check what was on offer, I'm relieved to inform you that it's the machinery that's used.
