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It happened in...

January



Exercise is evil

MON 30 JANUARY

Everything that didn't ache yesterday aches today. I make old man noises every time I move any part of my body.

Go skiing - open up a whole new world of pain.

Returned in one piece

SUN 29 JANUARY

Well I may not have been as convincing as the expert, who seemed to glide everywhere effortlessly on her board, but I did bust some bones moves of my own, and I'm still alive. So that's all the right boxes ticked.

Great fun, and I think I might have mastered the ' snow-plough', if little else. I don't hurt half as much as I thought I would, though my knee did later go 'twang' when we got home. (This was unrelated to the skiing though, and related more to getting the cat out from its hiding place under the car's oil sump.) Although the season's nearly over, we'll be heading back to Gokase as soon as we get a chance.

Clear the slopes - talent coming through

SAT 28 JANUARY

I'm very excited. I'm going skiing tomorrow for the first time in my life. I'm not renowned for prowess in winter sports, but there can't be much to it, can there. I've always fancied I'd be alright at skiing, but never got around to trying, mainly because of expense and laziness. But we're hitting the slopes in Gokase tomorrow, so medical reports photos will appear here soon.

The second coming

SAT 28 JANUARY

If the week gets any weirder, I'll end up being completely unshockable. But this one hit me before my morning caffeine rush. Robbie Fowler back at Liverpool! Wow.

If he can stay fit, I can see him and Crouch working well together with Gerrard and Alonso behind them. Liverpool are still carrying too many passengers, so someone with Robbie's heart is spot on. Though this would seem to suggest that we're not going to be getting that young Simao fella from Benfica.

It's fast becoming Rafa's mantra - "It gives us another option". Certainly does, and now we have five of those options (Cisse, Pongolle, Morientes and Crouch being the others). Someone's for the chop, it seems. And let's face facts, Djib. It's you. Cisse's not produced anything really, has he. He's fast, yes, but his hair makes Harry Kewell's look sensible, and his 'striking' seems to consist entirely of 'giving it as much welly as possible', and then watching as it rebounds off the keeper. I wouldn't imagine his off-field drama this week is going to help prolong his stay either.

Robbie's back... I can't wait to hear the reception when he walks out onto the Anfield pitch.

WWASD?

FRI 27 JANUARY

Or What would Ariel Sharon do? Picture the scene...

It's the 1st of April, and Ariel Sharon has finally come out of his stroke-induced coma. How do you think he's gonna react to the news that Hamas won the Palestinian election? Do you fancy telling him?

After all his talk of "bringing democracy to the Middle East", President Bush must be delighted with this result of democracy in action! The Palestinian people have a voice, and they have spoken!

Despite oft-parrotted U.S. claims that "from democracy comes dialogue, and peace", Israeli PM Ehud Olmert has already stated he'll have nothing to do with a Hamas government that has made no resolution to end violence. And the U.S. themselves, in the shape of the oh-so-forgetful Condeleeza Rice stated many times (and with a straight face because she simply doesn't remember the IRA) that America doesn't deal with terrorists. Hmm. Bit of a dilemma then. Because you're then also saying that you won't talk to the Palestinian people, that you're prepared to ignore them because you don't like the way they voted. (Come on, I don't ignore all Americans). Democracy as a double-edged sword? Who'd have thought it.

Let's not forget though that one of Hamas' commitments, though they did their best not to mention it around election time, is and has always been the destruction of Israel. Now that Hamas is in government, if they do not renounce violence, any act of terrorism will now be seen as genuine state-sponsored terrorism (in the literal sense, not just the empty rhetorical name-calling thrown at countries that the U.S. would never dare attack) - an act of war. If a Hamas bomb explodes in Israel now, won't Israel (and their allies) have to declare all-out war on Palestine (and their allies)? Could the U.S., in support of Israel, be dragged into a Middle East war on a far larger scale than anything before at a time when they least afford it? News reports this week that their military is currently 'stretched to near breaking point'.

All of this of course is assuming a continuation of violence, but it's a fair assumption since Hamas has remained silent on the issue despite announcing its eagerness to open talks with all and sundry. Time to read up on responsibilities before claiming those rights, I think.

Great balls of mud

WEDS 25 JANUARY

Could you make a ball of mud shine? You may not think so, but it's not only possible, Japanese kids do it regularly. It's even been transformed from a hobby into something of an artform - hikaru dorodango (shiny mud balls).

Apparently you make your basic mudball, roll it around for up to two hours, roll it repeatedly in finer grades of dust and eventually you get a super-smooth ball that shines.

Mrs C tells me that she and her friends did this often when she was little, making dorodango the size of marbles, but with a peculiarly masochistic twist that after spending hours making them, they would then drop them on concrete to see who had made the strongest one.

If you want some really encyclopaedic info on hikaru dorodango, this page has it all.

Beware! JTV attempts Science 101!

WEDS 25 JANUARY

Caught a bit of tv last night. In the same sense that you catch a disease.

And what tripe made want to eject the tv set through the living room window, you may ask? Well, if you're sitting comfortably, let me begin.

One fixture of the Japanese living room in the winter is the kotatsu, a table with a heater underneath and a blanket skirt. Some folks love them, and can be found under them from November to February. Others hate them as once you're under one, all activity stops.

And every year, old and faulty kotatsu are held to be responsible for a number of house-fires. That really is a heater under there, not just a high-wattage bulb. So, needless to say, some folks who fall asleep with their legs too near the heater end up in hospital with skin burns every now and again.

So off we went into an illustration of just what a horrendous risk you put yourself at every winter's day. They took a slab of prime beef, put it in a plastic bag and left it under a kotatsu with a heat sensitive camera until the temperature reached 'danger level'. It was then removed and revealed to have been cooked - "Aaah! Medium rare!" At this point cue lots of shocked faces and "Eeeee!" from the assembled panel of tarento idiots, and murmurings of "I'll have to be more careful! I never knew that!" Of course you didn't! Kotatsu have been around for years - if it was true, don't you think someone would have mentioned it by now?!

I have no medical training whatsoever, and I only ever paid attention in biology class infrequently. But I do know that a slab of beef has no blood flow and therefore cannot transfer heat away. Being sealed in a plastic bag won't help either. And unlike the beef, a person almost always has (at least) their head (pretty good at heat transfer) out in the cold room. And I believe these facts might explain why kotatsu have been so popular and so safe for so long. But hey, that's not as sexy as "Man cooked by killer kotatsu!"

Livedoor, part n

TUES 24 JANUARY

It's been just over 12 hours since the Livedoor 4 were arrested, and the Japanese media has finally lost its collective tiny mind. While I won't deny this is a huge story, I've not seen anything like this since Diana died. Every channel (apart from those that are still showing us how to cook delicious hamburgers) is devoting every broadcast second to it. Last night's news consisted of just this one story.

There's been entirely unnecessary footage of nothing at all from helicopters, shakey footage of nothing at all from speeding cars, and reporters getting hyper and shrill about cars driving past that may or may not contain the arrestees, in the light of a thousand flashbulbs. The morning programmes have erected portraits of Horie in the background, giving the impression of a royal death. And of course, there has been no news since the arrest, so it's just rehashing the tedious details of what everyone already knows, and oh the endless speculation!

In a moment of zen perspective, Mrs C announced, "I'm getting bored of this already."

Can you spell T-R-U-B-B-L-E?

MON 23 JANUARY

Mr Horie, president of Livedoor, who's been interviewed all day by those folks investigating Livedoor's alleged violation of the Securities and Exchange Law which was at least partly responsible for the trauma at the Tokyo Stock Exchange last week, was formally arrested tonight along with 3 other Livedoor execs, namely Ryoji Miyauchi (Horie's second in command at Livedoor), Fumito Okamoto (president of Livedoor Marketing) and Osanari Nakamura (president of Livedoor Finance).

So Ladies and Gentlemen, place your bets! Which exec, or combination of execs will attempt to buy a deal by dobbing the others in? Or perhaps your money's on everyone getting strung up. Or perhaps you can see them all getting away with it. I don't, despite Horie's (not particularly strenuous) protestions - "I don't recall doing anything we've been accused of."

Happy Birthday, Dad!

MON 23 JANUARY



KitKat latest: I can't stop, help me

SUN 22 JANUARY

It's truly a sad day when you're disappointed by a Kitkat, but that day has come. For the KitKat Noir, one of the Patisserie Takagi special editions, fails to live up to the hype. Little bite-sized plain chocolate Kats dusted in cocoa powder, in a big present-style box, sounds like a winner. But the plain chocolate doesn't suit the KitKat at all well, and is surprisingly tasteless. The true measure of this is that the open box has sat on the table for a few days untouched. *sigh*

More issues that you can shake a stick at

SUN 22 JANUARY

From Saitama this week came news that a Hiroyuki Ichikawa burned down his family house when his mother refused to buy him some dolls. He had apparently got into an argument over it with his mother, and in retaliation, went to his bedroom and set fire to his mattress, which in turn, burned down the whole house.

He is quoted as saying to the police "I argued with my mother after she refused to grant my request to buy me dolls. I started the fire to vent my frustration." At this point you're probably thinking "Well, he knows some big words for a 4 or 5-year-old!"

And so he should. Because you see Hiroyuki is 27 years old. Unemployed. Lives with his parents. Dolls.

KitKat World Tour

THURS 19 JANUARY

The 'wonderful treasure hunt' I alluded to yesterday took a grand detour yesterday. Thanks to a friend returning from the mystical lands of Arabia, I'm now the proud (and very short-term) owner of a Caramel Chunky KitKat from the United Arab Emirates. In Arabic, like.

Trouble at t'mill

THURS 19 JANUARY

Livedoor, the Japanese internet company with the huge profile, run by 'charismatic' (= he doesn't wear a tie) CEO Takafumi Horie, are in it up to their bottom lip.

News of alleged book-cooking (or "possible accounting irregularities" as it's unusually coyly put in the Mainichi) at Livedoor this week has wiped 6% off the value of the Nikkei in just two days, as nervy investors are dumping their shares. Things looked grim yesterday when trading in Tokyo was halted early as the set limit of daily trades approached. European and American markets then followed the downhill pattern later.

More on Mr Horie's (alleged) naughtiness in the Newsround section from Saturday.

Minna daisuki KitKat!

WEDS 18 JANUARY

How do you explain how a simple chocolate wafer snack originally produced by a Yorkshire company, Rowntree's, in the 1930s under the name Chocolate Crisp went on to become so wildly popular all over the world, and particularly in Japan?

Apart from the fact that they're only gorgeous, KitKats have a special place in the heart of the Japanese. Japanese consumers are notoriously fickle, jumping from fad to fad as quickly as producers can keep up with them. The journey from today's big thing to tomorrow's forgotten has-been is a very short one in Japan, in both the market-place and the media. Attention is therefore easily attracted with 'Limited' or 'Special' editions, a concept which is not lost on Nestlé, the current owner of the brand, who market this as "changing with the seasons". So you see, I'm not feeding a KitKat addiction, rather I am engaged in a wonderful seasonal treasure hunt.

But the chocolate shelves of Japanese supermarkets groan under the weight of hundreds of delicious brands, so what makes KitKat so special (if you really still need more convincing)? One explanation is the similarity of the name to the Japanese phrase "kitto katsu", ('kitto' - certainly, surely; 'katsu' - victory) a phrase used to wish someone good luck, and particularly by students around exam time (which is all the time). Now, the Japanese are also famously superstitious, and with Japanese students as mired as they are in endless exam-taking, they (and their parents) then adopted KitKat as their lucky charm when going into the exam hall. They are given as presents and are found in lunchboxes all over the country on exam days.

So you often find specials arriving in the shops around exam time - like now. So, probably appearing in bento boxes at every school and university in Japan - I give you (or would do if I hadn't already scoffed them) inspirational miniKats. These have little inspirational messages on them, like "Kyo mo gambatta ne. Ashita mo gambaro!" (Let's try our best today. Tomorrow too!). I think today's going to be a very lucky day.

Arseholes

WEDS 18 JANUARY

Bit strong, you're thinking. I don't think so. Imagine you're in control of a tonne of metal moving at 60mph, powered by regular explosions, with similar machines coming at you in many directions, and people moving unpredictably on every side. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise it's not the time to be chatting on the phone.

If you think this is acceptable behaviour, I make no apologies for pointing you at the title. While you're chatting on the phone, you haven't noticed how your speed has crept up over the limit, and you haven't noticed that pedestrian crossing up ahead where the kids are crossing. You don't care though, because you're an arsehole. When it comes to a choice of answering your precious mobile, or risking the lives of all those around you, be they drivers or pedestrians, you actually choose to put their lives in danger. You think that's a risk worth taking.

I swerved to avoid an oncoming driver yesterday who had wandered into my lane. Why? Might have something to do with the fact that he had a cigarette to his lips in one hand, his mobile phone in the other, and the steering wheel in neither. Not long ago, I narrowly avoided being hit by a speeding phone user who simply didn't register a stop line and sign as she threw her head back in laughter, eyes closed, at something the caller had said.

I'm not sure about elsewhere, but in both Japan and Britain, there are laws about using mobile phones in moving cars. And in most countries you do not have the right to drive a car. It is done under government licence, and is therefore a privilege, with a great number of responsibilities attached. So anyone reading this and thinking all that doesn't apply to them is an arsehole. And if they find that offensive, I'd just ask them to consider if it's as offensive as choosing a phone call over the life of another.

KitKat latest

MON 16 JANUARY

Yes, yes, yes. Another one. Yes, I am aware how many that is. I've got the wrappers in front of me, after all. There are worse things to be addicted to.

My latest KitKat titbit is the KitKat Latte - which was the perfect accompaniment for a real latte. Starting the day on a sugar and caffeine high, breakfast perfection.

Japundit.com goes audio

MON 16 JANUARY

JP and the crew over at Japundit.com, one of my favourite sites, has started producing weekly podcasts, featuring a mix of news, views and music. Quality podcasts are few and far between - I was hugely disappointed for example with the rambling nonsense put out as the Guardian Ricky Gervais podcast. But if you like Japundit, you'll enjoy JP's programmes, where in January he's playing lesser known (well to me at least) music with a doggy theme - 2006 is the year of the dog - and also goes into some of site's stories from the week in greater depth.

KitKat latest

SUN 15 JANUARY

When the trees blossom in the spring, the whole country will go cherry blossom mad. There'll be parties, picnics, singing and slurring under every sakura tree in the country. But until then we can while away the cold winter with KitKat Sakura. Early taste tests report this presses all the sakura buttons - subtle pink, sweet but not too much, delicate cherry flavour. Even the anti-white chocolate brigade wouldn't do anything as crass as diss the Sakura KitKat...

Scotch mist

SUN 15 JANUARY

After reporting on the 6th the news from the Mainichi and the Shukan Post about the peculiar phenomenon of Mt Fuji having no snow on it during one of the snowiest Japanese winters on record (leading some to believe that Fuji is warming up and getting ready to blow), I went searching for a Fuji webcam to see this for myself.

If that's not a hell of a lot of snow, what is it?

Cheating death by seconds

SAT 14 JANUARY

Well, when I say seconds, I mean an hour and a half. And when I say we cheated death, I mean we cheated... slight injury, or perhaps a big surprise.

We made one of our rare visits (ahem) to Yamada Denki yesterday afternoon, and when we got home, we switched on the local news to hear the Yamada Denki song ("#Yamada mada mada yasui'n da, Yamada no yasusawa wa hampa ja nai yo de denki wa Yamada da na - Yamada Denki!#") jingling away in the background. Camera pans out and there's a beige saloon car parked in the lobby at the bottom of the escalators in my favourite electronics emporium. "Well how've they managed that?" I said to Mrs C. "They must've taken it right through the wall!" Which is precisely what happened. An unfortunate local septuagenarian had messed up both the gears and the pedals and shot his car backwards through the plate glass entrance.

You see? You're not even safe from the local drivers when you're indoors!

Smoking or non-smoking?

FRI 13 JANUARY

Visitors to England often comment on how many English people, particularly young women, smoke. If those people are so shocked, or at least moved to comment, in England, they should come to Japan.

Now, I should point out that I am a militant and irritating ex-smoker, but there's no point getting on your high horse in Japan, because you don't have the weight of the majority behind you. Japanese smoking etiquette is entirely different. Some of this is good. You don't get cigarette burns from clumsy, self-absorbed smokers in busy pedestrian areas as people tend not to smoke in the street. Smokers use the ashtrays in their cars, so generally cigarette butts are not ejected from the window of moving cars. But my one gripe is that restaurants here really haven't got their heads round the concept of a 'non-smoking area'.

We were in a restaurant last week, and asked to be seated in non-smoking. Although the place was only about half full, within minutes another customer was seated a mere metre from us and lit up. He was not in the non-smoking section, although there were dozens of empty seats at the far end of the room. I felt that it was the smokers who were having to put up with the non-smokers rather than the other way round.

We had a late lunch in a Chinese restaurant today (where I collected more stamps on my point card), and because it was virtually empty, we didn't ask to be seated in non-smoking. But that section was pointed out to us. Apologies for the phone photo, but you may be able to make out the tasteful bamboo-cane 'cage' motif. The lone table there is single-sided, so those who don't wish to breathe in cigarette smoke while they eat (but will be taking it by the lung-load anyway) are lined up in said cage, along the front window, on public display. That'll teach 'em!

One ray of hope however can be found at Aso Farmland. Here the opposite side is fighting the fight, and those naughty smokers are herded away from everyone else and made to sit in a sealed cell called the Tabaccotage while they smoke. It even has little windows, so if you feel inclined you can go and point at them while they do it.

Card collection

FRI 13 JANUARY

When you go to pay in most large stores here and quite a few restaurants, you walk away with not only your change and a receipt, but also discount vouchers of some kind or, more likely, a point card (or more stamps on your card if it's not your first time). If you're a regular customer, these discounts are not ungenerous, so for the stores and restaurants I go to regularly, obviously I keep them, but for a t-shirt shop in a town 200 miles away I wonder how it ever came to be in my wallet.

So before I know it, I've accumulated a wallet-stretching pile of cards, and every few months I have to have a clear out (today I threw out another dozen or so), rather than kid myself my wallet is bulging for any other reason.

Eating cheese before bedtime

WEDS 11 JANUARY

So I got involved in a swordfight to the death with a samurai for the honour of my woman. Somehow. The circumstances are unclear. Though you might think such a fight one-sided and a foregone conclusion, I won. But instead of doing the honourable thing and dying, he went around sheepishly asking everyone's address. "You won't be needing those where you're going, mate," I thought, but as I looked again he was no samurai but that sly and intensely annoying French exchange student with a downy excuse for a moustache and a weasel's grin. (If there is a psychiatrist reading, please pick up a white courtesy phone.)

I didn't wake up rested today. To quote Mitch Hedberg (again), "Dreaming is hard work, there I am in a comfortable bed, the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord". Roll on bedtime.

Hiding in full view!

MON 9 JANUARY

We were watching a programme on tv tonight which, unsurprisingly, I needed explaining to me. There was a lot of weapon play, superpowers, jolly costumes and it was very strange indeed. Turns out it was a new adaptation of an old show from the 80s about a set of ancient Chinese buddhist legends. Anyway, to cut a very long story quite short, the gentlemen to the left and to the right were in the original series. They appear on Japanese tv very regularly, and unbeknown to me until tonight used to appear on British tv just as regularly and were very well known there. Take a good look at them - do you recognise them?

To your right, Toshiyuki Nishida. He's a serious actor, seen him in a number of dramas. To your left, Masaaki Sakai. I've always had him pegged as the ubiquitous Japanese tv tarento - a word based on the English 'talent' but meaning simply a tv personality so the link to talent may be tenuous at best. But these two chaps, it turns out, are talent at its very best. They used to appear in a tv series called Saiyuki. Tonight's show is the first episode in the remake of that old series, starring among others, Shingo Katori. The original Saiyuki was exported worldwide and was immensely popular in Britain and Australia, in a peculiarly dubbed version, under the name of ... ' Monkey'

(If you're still wondering, Sakai was Monkey, Nishida was Pigsy. If this has jogged memories, you can listen to the theme tune here at a fan site)

A visit to the arcade

MON 9 JANUARY

The arcade is no longer about a few scrappy old Space Invaders machines and a bored, hygiene-challenged, teenaged attendant sullenly doling out stacks of 5p coins in change. The arcade of the future has arrived.

We spent the day at Round 1, a fun palace on 5 floors - a 38-lane bowling alley on one floor, slot machines on another, a miniature golf course on another, karaoke, a restaurant, darts, pool, table tennis, basketball, football, baseball nets (and doubtless other things) on the others.

We confined ourselves to just two of the floors today. After the debacle of my losing to the Montanan last week (even after he was reduced to one working leg - an injury rather than a sporting gesture), I was determined to rediscover my bowling form today against Mrs C (plus no fella wants to lose to a girlie, eh). In fact I didn't really, but neither did she, so we both chose to blame our lamentable scores on the 19 supersized video screens above the lanes, constantly playing the clientele's jukebox choices (all 3 of them, over and over). Very offputting they are. Yes, that'll be the problem.

Then we hit the next floor - the slots. Flashing neon and 150 decibels of clanking machines and pop music. Slot machines, fruit machines, a fully automated and animated horse-racing track, and multi-storey one-armed bandits at the far end.

When we finally broke free of the hypnosis, and rolled out of there, it was nearly dark. Outside, the world was a cold, quiet, colourless place. We'd had a lot of fun.

Seijin no hi

MON 9 JANUARY

Today's seijin no hi, Coming of Age Day, which is marked by ceremonies (seijin shiki) all over the country for all those who are turning 20 this year. 20 is the age of majority in Japan, so after their birthdays, these folks will officially be adults and will be allowed to smoke, drink, vote and all those other exciting things.

Everyone gets dressed up and heads off to the town hall for the ceremony. The guys usually wear hakama, the traditional old dark-coloured man's kimono with baggy legs, or perhaps a suit. The girls get to wear wonderful bright kimonos with furisode, very long sleeves which indicate an unmarried woman, and as it's January and half the country's knee-deep in snow, many also wear a white fur stole. (Pictures at Mainichi).

FA Cup

SUN 8 JANUARY

Luton 3 Liverpool 5
So that's the 3rd round safely navigated. Ahem. Great comeback and all that, but what kind of lapse in concentration found us 3-1 down in the first place?

I'm sparing a thought for poor Manchester United though. Their tie against non-league Burton Albion (a whole 4 divisions lower than their Premiership opponents) was always going to be a tough one. And United will need a replay to try to get past mighty Burton.

Keeping an eye on Fuji-san

FRI 6 JANUARY

According to the Mainichi (which itself is quoting the Shukan Post), we should be wary of Mount Fuji at the moment. The reason? Despite it being midwinter, and copious snow falling along the Sea of Japan coast, the summit of Fuji-san is quite clearly lacking its usual snowcap.

Locals have also been reporting strange, inexplicable illnesses and ailments for a few months, and apparently the local wildlife has upped and hopped it, for example the everpresent sparrow population around the mountain has suddenly vanished. Fuji is believed to erupt every 300 years or so and the last major eruption was in 1707, so homespun experts are predicting either an eruption or a large earthquake, the long awaited 'Big One' that residents of the central region, particularly Tokyo, live in fear of.

KitKat latest

FRI 6 JANUARY

Some say I like to court controversy. Not true, I just like to avoid boredom. But there's going to be outrage on the lanes of rural Oxfordshire tonight with this one, for which I make no apologies.

Now don't get all batey just cos it says it's a white KitKat - for this is the maple syrup Kitkat. If a mummy KitKat and a daddy Caramac (remember them?) had babies, and err... you ate them (not sure where this allusion is going), they'd be just as tasty as this.

Now calm down and have a cup of tea.

Bracing ourselves

FRI 6 JANUARY

The forecast says we're in for some snow tonight as the whole country seems to be. While this is unusual down here in Kyushu and on the western side of the central mountainous spine of Honshu, the poor sods on the Sea of Japan side have been having the stuff dropped on them relentlessly since before Christmas. Places like Niigata, Aomori and Hokkaido expect to get a lot anyway, but I just saw a report of places with 4 metres (nearly as high as this house) of snow, with another particularly heavy fall forecast tonight and saturday. Meanwhile I'm reconsidering my wish to see Hokkaido in the winter.

Cat triptych: Final. I am a lion

WEDS 4 JANUARY

Hear me roar. Watch me sunbathe.

Cat triptych: 2. Shedding your dignity

WEDS 4 JANUARY

While you puny humans freeze out there, I, however, shall be warm and cosy in my bag.

Cat triptych: 1. Milk, the killer

WEDS 4 JANUARY

She waits. That's what she does. Sure as tick followed tock followed tick followed tock...

Lucky bag

TUES 3 JANUARY

Just before Christmas, I got to a department store just before it opened (at 10am). A small crowd was gathered in the entrance while the white-gloved staff stood, hands crossed in front of them, in the doorways, heads bowed, waiting for the buzzer to sound. When it did, the members of staff bowed deeply to the assembled crowd, and then stepped aside to allow us all in.

On the second of January, at the major stores, things are a little different. The crowds are bigger, less well-behaved, louder, and if you check the expressions of the staff you may see signs of nerves. The first business day of the year is also fukubukuro day.

Fukubukuro are marketed as lucky bags, though 'blind bargain bucket' might be a fairer description. They range in price but most usually start at around ¥5,000 to 10,000. You don't know what you're getting other than goods that are claimed to be about double the value of what you spend. Most clothing stores do this, and all "brand" (Louis Vuitton, D&G, Coach and the like) stores' offerings are lusted after.

Personally, I don't get it. I've yet to shop in a store where I liked more than a couple of items, so the chances of me liking much in a lucky bag are slim to none, and the fact of owning something I only paid half price for is meaningless to me if I don't like it. But that apparently is because I don't "have a favourite brand" unlike most of these shoppers, to whom the colour and style are unimportant provided the badge is right. And every year, people wait from the early hours to be the first in the store to get their hands on whatever the store needs to offload to make room for the new season's stock. And the more expensive they are, the quicker they fly off the shelves.

Without due care and attention

TUES 3 JANUARY

It's been reported that on the Thursday before Christmas, when we got the first settling flurry of snow here, there were 400 road accidents in the few hours it was snowing that evening.

That's not 400 in Japan, that's just in Kumamoto, a city of just 650,000 people.

In an unconnected report, it was revealed that the second favourite pastime of Japanese men is... driving! Now, my feelings about the local drivers have been clarified before, so I'll offer no further comment. (But I think I'll start claiming knife-throwing as my new hobby and likewise not be put off by being rubbish at it and hideously dangerous to passers-by.)

I have the longest carrots

MON 2 JANUARY

And not just one but two. If yours are bigger, prove it.

Some free advice

SUN 1 JANUARY

More for myself, really, than for you. I just feel if I commit it to print, there's more of a chance I'll remember it.

Life's too short to be drinking cheap sparkling wine. That is all.

Hatsu mode

SUN 1 JANUARY

Hatsu mode is traditionally the first visit of the New Year to the temple or shrine, so many people are there on the stroke of midnight or before, in order to be the first in to make an offering and say a prayer. It's crowded, and given the time and the day, a bit more animated than most visits. People queue for as long as it takes to make their offering, but all is not over when you reach the front of the queue. Once you've dropped in your coins and offered up your prayer, you should be wary of coins flying over your head into the large offertory from the less patient faithful behind you. As it's January, a woolly hat provides adequate protection against both the cold and projectile yen.

Then the crowd files round for a blessing before going off to buy small mementos, this year in the shape of dogs, and of course, omikuji - your fortune for the coming year. Your luck is graded from very lucky through middling to very unlucky (though I've never heard of anyone drawing kyoo / very unlucky at New Year - I think they're all taken out) and as last year, I drew daikichi / very lucky again. So we tied our omikuji to a tree, offered up a prayer for luck, and made our way home.

Happy New Year!

SUN 1 JANUARY

Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu! Kotoshi mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu! Happy New Year of the Dog, everyone! More later when the painkillers have kicked in.