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It happened in...

November



30 November

Things are a bit more relaxed around here now. Mainly because there isn't a cat popping up everywhere I turn, and hissing at me. That's to say, the cat's still here, but the hissing's stopped. And when 6 o'clock comes, she'll even come and sit on my lap and we watch the Simpsons together.

Not that she isn't still chock-full of attitude. She likes to think that she's a cool customer, in control and prepared to take no shinola from anyone. Whereas I prescribe more to the view that she's a brooding psychopath. Again, it's that perspective thing.

So... sorry? What's that? Cute pictures, you say? Well, alright, I dare say I can rustle some up from somewhere. Here's a gorgeous trio for you. For those who don't know Yuna-chan, and for those who don't know Abbie and baby Georgia. And here's another of my favourites of Abbie too.

And now November draws to a close, it's time to get in your entry for Name that Tune. Time to dust off the good brain and start filling in those blanks with guesses, methinks. Answers to the usual address. (Or if you don't know it, click the yellow face in 'Messages'.)

28 November

Bit of a sore head this morning. Suspects abound, but I think these are the likeliest culprits. Hashimura-san and Hashimura-san very kindly took us out last night to a karaoke bar owned by their eldest daughter's mother-in-law. In a small lounge bar, songs were sung, and glasses were emptied, and Mr H showed himself to be quite an enka specialist. I think all the singing must have somehow affected my eyes, as the journey home looked mostly like this.

28 November!

Staying on the theme of quality journalism, the Japanese news media excelled themselves last week with the story of a true modern Japanese hero.

From Aioi, in Hyogo prefecture, came the tale of Dokonjo Daikon (Gutsy radish) - a giant white radish that had grown through the tarmac of a local road. Because of its 'fighting spirit', it was feted and celebrated, until one morning the jubilant mood turned solemn when it was discovered that some local lout had brutally lopped its head off. This saga, and its tragic denouement, was carried on most channels and in most papers, even turning up as far afield as in the London Times.

But today, in Myogi, Gunma prefecture, news came of a new folk hero for the people. The Mainichi Daily News sent their best scout up there to interview the man outside whose house it's growing. This new radish apparently "bears a close resemblance to [the] one in [...] Hyogo Prefecture" (Radish in Looks-like-another-radish SHOCKER!), and in trying to piece together the mystery of how the radish has come to be growing through the pavement, householder (and now radish-guard) Yonekichi Tanaka was quoted as saying that
he thinks the seed probably came from the radishes he grows nearby
(italics mine)


The daikon, yesterday


27 November

So farewell then, George.

The passing of a tabloid legend was treated yesterday with varying degrees of taste. Whilst those who grieved in private or chose to mark the occasion probably did so with the appropriate dignity, the media threw up some gems of startling bad taste. The BBC, for example, had a standing story on the front page of its site, the headline of which was updated regularly as George's health reportedly failed. For them, Best's death was evidently his last performance. So we were treated to "Best unlikely to make it through next 24 hours", followed some hours later by something along the lines of "Best fighting for life", and then "Best enters final hours" a little later. When they were finally able to post up "Best dies" you could almost sense a sigh of relief from the online newsroom that nobody would have to update the page again. I'm only surprised that there was no offer of hourly text message alerts as to the state of George's decline.

But for the very nadir of taste, there is always Sky News. And they didn't disappoint. Their reporter came through, I gather, with "We'll shortly be switching back to the Cromwell hospital where George Best will be dying in the next few hours." She only omitted to say, "...live and exclusive on Sky News!"

In a world with "24 Hour News" where news simply doesn't happen 24 hours a day, there is far too much being paid to far too many for doing far too little.

26 November - Extra extra, read all abaht it!

Daddy Andy's been on the case, so here's the first picture of beautiful baby Georgia. Now get cooing, people!

26 November

Well if you're still in the competition, here's your chance to win. Here's the last edition of Name that Tune and here's the 'last' tune. If you can identify it, then you probably think you're pretty clever. So if that's the case, you'll be able to handle these extras, won't you. It only counts if you get [1], [2], [3] and [4] right too. Best o' luck.

25 November

There's a section of the Japanese right wing which has been noisily complaining for many years about the high crime rate among foreigners. If you take visa violations out of the equation, it has been shown that foreign residents in Japan in fact have a far lower propensity to crime than the indignenous population. Bear in mind also that the only terrorist crimes committed on Japanese soil were carried out by Japanese citizens.

Therefore, the government's plan to 'tag' foreigners can only be regarded as nothing but bare-faced racism. The plan is to replace the current "Gaijin card" ('Certificate of Alien Registration') with a chipped card containing data such as name, nationality, birthday, passport information, visa status, address, workplace, educational institution and such. Nothing terribly amiss there. Other than the chip, it's no different from the present card.

The difference will be in the use of the card. I presently don't have to take my card out of my wallet from one year to the next. The Japan Times is quoted, on Tuesday, as saying that this new card, however, will need to be shown and swiped when the holder goes to (for example and among others) a hotel, a government office, estate agent, a museum even. And where else? So essentially, the card will be no different from the tag attached to the ankle of parolled prisoners. Every movement will be tracked. For "protection and convenience". (Whose?) Oh, and there's the "voluntary" finger-printing too.

The Japanese themselves wouldn't stand for it. In fact they didn't - when the government tried, the populace along with local authorities, roundly rejected it. But the goals of the new scheme are "strengthening control of residency information, [... and the] ease and precision of collection, analysis, and practical use of data for Immigration," and tracking illegal aliens. Immigration already has a couple of kilos of paperwork about every legal non-Japanese resident so how does the card make the system any more efficient? And illegal immigrants dodge some/all of this anyhow so how will they be any more trackable by a card they won't carry?

And there's the old argument of "If you keep your nose clean, you've nothing to fear." Really? Well, who will have access to my information? Why does a museum I'm visiting need to know where I work? Or why does the government need to know I'm visiting a museum (for example)? I have nothing to hide, but that doesn't mean my information's open to all. The scope of this card will widen under this new plan. And if it widens further in the future? Will I have access to my own information? How easy will it be to correct anything that's wrong?

The rabid right of political Japan (cf. governor of Tokyo, Ishihara and his constant and mindless racist soundbites, and also Koizumi's new appointee as Foreign Minister, the ultranationalist and supremacist Aso) have stoked underlying xenophobia with irrational public statements designed only to inflame, and have fed the suspicion with which many non-Japanese in Japan are seen.

In terms of crime, it's the gaijin population which statistically is the least of the threat to public order in Japan. I will carry the card, because I will have to. My point is, with the stated objectives being plainly false, what is the real motive behind this?

24 November - Pakistan 462 & 268-9d drew with England 446 & 164-6

Today (well, yesterday English time) I became an uncle again! And Georgia Rose is my third neice and was born about half past nine last night, weighing in at 6lb 15oz. All are well and happy, if a little tired. Ah, sleep's a thing of the past anyway. There'll be pictures as soon as some are taken.

23 November

The site's taken a fair pasting today, in my attempts to do away with frames but keep the overall shape the same. Which has been waaaaay more complicated, frustrating, infuriating and time-consuming than you might think. Hope it meets your high standards.

And just to give you an idea of the level of difficulty we're talking about, here's the penultimate number of Name that Tune.

22 November

Well we've finally bitten the bullet - the heater's finally come out of the cupboard, and we've been to the petrol station and bought 60 litres of paraffin. So let's see how long that lasts. (I'm a thirsty fella after all...)

So all three of us are happy about that. "3?" you say? Why yes. For the Cat in the Hat has come back (minus the hat, alas). This will require some explanation, I'm sure.

A certain someone was bending my ear about getting a dog. Something which, of course, I would love to do. If it were not for a few considerations. Namely, that it would be left for unacceptably long periods of time alone. And we don't have a garden for it to run around in. And the clincher was "I'm not sure how chuffed your mother would be about it considering that your cat's still living at her place."

So the issue instead became "Bringing the cat home".

Well Miruku (that's "Milk" to you and me) has come to live with us, and what a fascinating evening it's been. She's been wandering around the place with eyes on stalks trying to figure out why she recognises the place and yet... and yet... (2 years is 14 in Cat, isn't it?) And of course she's spent a fair amount of time in her other pastime, namely hissing at me. She will be 'trained' out of this habit soon enough, rest assured. If she thinks she's stressed now, she just wants to carry on with that.

Well the cat didn't know today's tune, so you're one up on her if you can name this.

21 November

To be filed under "Tell me something I didn't already know..."

You scored as Calvin. You are Calvin! You are an obnoxious little six-year-old who knows way too much to be getting Fs in school. You know how to have the best time playing, and can annoy adults to no end.

Calvin
64%

Mrs. Wormwood
57%

Hobbes
57%

Susie
54%

Mom and Dad
43%

What Calvin & Hobbes character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com



And the final week of Name that Tune begins with ...

20 November

Beware the leaf-peepers! For we shall be meandering along the road, getting in your way and generally being a slow-moving nuisance.

Took a long, slow drive down to Takachiho, along the rivers and through the forests and it was a lovely warm autumn day.

We stopped on the way at a waterfall, where Mrs C displayed a talent I didn't know she had, namely hypnotising dragonflies. The idea is you approach while describing a spiral with your index finger and this "makes them dizzy" so they don't fly away and you can get close enough to touch them. (It really worked. But it's not for beginners. I was hopelessly clumsy myself.) I hadn't seen anything quite like it since Crocodile Dundee floored that buffalo.

We stopped for lunch not far from Takachiho in a fairly innocent looking place at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere which called itself the Cafe Hongo. Inside, it was very much like an English suburban semi, which was odd enough. But everything about it proved to be even odder. The decor can only be described as random. On the walls near our table were a replica bedouin carpet, a hanging bunch of strawberries, and (only) six dwarves on the window-sill. When the soup arrived, it was served in an espresso cup, so that's about two mouthfuls. My omu-raisu (omelette stuffed with rice) arrived decked out in nasturtiums. Nice peppery nasturtiums, good. Sickly stinking nasturtium leaves, not. (Though the om-rice with accompanying slabs of Higo beef was second to none.) Mrs C had room for dessert so along came her rea chiizukeiki (uncooked cheesecake) in a glass the size of the soup serving, and lovingly arranged on a bed of cornflakes. Again, it was excellent, and not only for the novelty value. Back in the car, "That was really nice!" we agreed. "But odd...".

Finally, in KitKat news, we can confirm that the strawberry KitKat reported yesterday is absolutely delicious and remaining stocks in nearby shops are being bought up as we speak. The same, however, can not be said of an even more recent discovery, KitKat Grape (like KitKat Wine, but for drivers) which seems to aimed at the addicted-to-toilet-cleaner market. Disappointing. Not least because we've got a couple o' dozen of the buggers.

19 November

Jeff (conbinibento.com) has posted a superb video entitled The Japanese Tradition: Sushi - take a light-hearted look at what it's all about. (Click on the sushi picture and yes, it has subtitles.)

Also, more KitKat news. Among many others, there's been the Double Berry KitKat, the Lemon Cheesecake KitKat (top kat so far), the Luscious Lime KitKat (not a success - this house voted that a Dettol KitKat would probably taste similar), the Melon one, the 'special edition' Passion Fruit one, the 'super special' (and bloody expensive) edition Wine one (chocolate and red wine? Not a great combo in my experience...), and who can forget the (rather nice) green tea one.

A new one (for me) today - the strawberry KitKat. Taste testing underway. Further bulletins as the story develops.

18 November

For a country that 'doesn't celebrate Christmas', Japan doesn't half get its decorations up early. Most of the shops in town are filled to the brim with red velvet and white fur, and most of the buildings around are decked out in more lights that last year. I believe there may be some private competitions going on there. Blue appears to be a very popular this year. If you haven't got blue lights, you're sooooo out of it.

Out in the countryside, however, autumn's finally arriving.

17 November - First Test, Pakistan 274 & 341 beat England 418 & 175 by 22 runs

Bugger. Well we threw that game away, didn't we. All day and nine wickets to get less than 200 runs. Is everyone still a little hung over after the summer's heroics?

Here's the last of week 3 of Name that Tune.

16 November

Here's a little peep into corporate Japan and 'company loyalty'. Sanyo Electric Co. announced recently that they are going to stop producing for the household appliances market and 'concentrate on more promising fields'. They've obviously been running at a loss for quite some time, because back in January, they 'asked' employees to keep their shareholders from mutiny by selflessly donating a proportion of their salaries to the Shareholders' Empty Wallet Fund. Staff were 'asked' at the end of January to make enormous purchases of Sanyo's own products before the end of March and were even given 'guidance' on how much they might part with. It was suggested that executives lay out ¥2 million (£10,000), middle management about ¥500,000 (£2500) and everyone else about ¥200,000 (£1000).

Well believe it or not, the notion failed. Either the salarymen rebelled, which is laughably unlikely, or the sum raised was nowhere near enough. So just eight months after making sizeable purchases, an undisclosed number of folk will now be made unemployed.

This episode of "Company Loyalty - a one-way street" was brought to you by the letter 'P' and the number '45'.

Try your hand then, dear reader, at this theme from your past.

15 November - Royal Wedding Edition - The Princess and the Salaryman

The Imperial Family lost a daughter as Princess Sayako married civil servant Yoshiki Kuroda in an understated ceremony early this morning. She now leaves the royal household and loses her title, such are the rules laid down in Imperial Law (though a prince marrying a commoner remains a prince and his wife becomes princess and joins the Imperial Family). Though the million pound dowry she takes with her will probably soften this blow. In adjusting to life in the world of us common folk,
(from Reuters)
She has taken driving lessons in an apparent attempt to fit in with Kuroda's enthusiasm for motoring, and has also spent time brushing up her cooking skills. Sayako has already given up her part-time job as a researcher at an ornithology centre in Chiba, near Tokyo, possibly to give herself more time to adjust to unfamiliar chores.
Bless.

It's not the razzmatazz and glitz you come to expect from a European royal wedding, but considering I only had one lesson today I was thinking about watching it on the telly, but someone must've set their beds on fire because the whole thing was over by about ten o'clock.

The Imperial Court is currently debating the succession crisis (there's still no male heir after Crown Prince Naruhito and females can't take the throne) so Sayako-sama may be the last royal daughter to be shown the back door, as they have to come up with some way of increasing the genetic stock. I notice they didn't hurry any change of regulations through before today. Perhaps they don't see today's events as a victory for the Imperial gene pool.

Mainichi News has a series of photos of the day.

15 November

Spend any time in Japan, and one of the first words you'll learn is kawaii, usually translated as 'cute'. Kawaii is a very important concept to the Japanese female of the species. To girls of all ages, an astonishing array of things display the necessary factors for kawaii. Anything small has a good chance. Most animals (though not reptiles or birds), particularly animals dressed up or dancing or whatever. Miniature dogs and children, obviously. Pretty much anything. But usually the more cloyingly sickly the better, hence the enduring appeal of artery-tightening articles like Hello Kitty and other expensive branded merchandise nonsense such cute characters.

But within this garden of disneyfication, there grow some strange weeds. One such is Gloomy Bear, the creation of Mori Chack, an artist from Osaka. GB is a plush pink bear with a big cute head and large cartoon eyes and a kind of vacant stare. And huge razor-like claws and fangs. Gloomy has a taste for human blood and a penchant for unspeakable violence. He's a big, cute, pink, relentless killing machine. And why is Gloomy so very popular with young girls all over Japan? Yeeeees, because he's so (sing along if you know the words!) kawaii! Thus proving that all Japanese girls are unfathomably weird.

Anyway, here's today's tune, #2.

14 November

If the idea of dragging yourself into work this Monday morning doesn't fill you with joy, help is at hand. Is your desk cluttered with piles of paper that you've been re-arranging for weeks now? Is the 'Must do something about that soon' pile slowly fossilising? The best solutions are often the simplest - meet Katazukue (the Tidy Table). Never let work guilt you into actually doing it ever again!

Right, week 3 day 1, name this tune.

11 November

I believe the world was made by invisible pink pot-bellied penguins, and, despite a complete lack of any empirical evidence, my friends and I are going to ensure that your kids are taught that this is scientific fact at school.

But until then, read how the Kansas State Board of Education has 'redefined science' in order to excuse the wholly unconstitutional pushing of creationism in its schools. Smugness and ignorance go hand in hand as the chairman states that "Darwin's theory of evolution is unproven", thereby trotting out the oft-repeated and convenient (and deliberate) misunderstanding of the word 'theory', applying the "speculation" definition rather than the "accepted general principle reached by logical and scientific reasoning through analysis of evidence" definition that is intended in science. This semantic pedantry allows the narrow minds of religious fundamentalists to shamelessly peddle their unsupported agenda in schools as fact.

Now just because I see creationism as a load of unsubstantiated, fly-in-the-face-of-the-facts twaddle, that doesn't mean I have a problem with what consenting adults get up to behind closed doors, and what they might choose to believe there, but leave the kids out of it. And in particular, don't force teachers to push baseless beliefs as facts, and denounce evidence as guesswork.

This is one of the most worrying aspects of this; that they are claiming that natural selection is mere conjecture, thereby rejecting the obvious and overwhelming weight of scientific evidence. Secondly, the US constitution is supposed to ensure a separation of Church and State, which throughout the Bush era simply hasn't been enforced as the religious right insidiously push their beliefs into people faces whether they like it or not.

I wonder if the rabid fundamentalists of the middle east realise they have like-minded friends in the 'infidel nation'...

Deep breath now. Phew. Let's round off week 2 of Name that Tune with this little beauty. You know you know it.

10 November

Hoorah, we're back! "But where have you been?" you're thinking. Well nowhere, from your point of view, probably, but I've not been able to access the site (or any of my host's sites), either by browser or by ftp, for nearly two days. Distraught doesn't even begin to describe it. But thankfully someone's plugged the server back in again.

Still, I've been occupying my time by reliving a marvellous summer in the company of those magnificent men who wrested the Ashes back. The dvds arrived (thanks Mum!) and I've been glued to the action ever since. It's a very different experience from huddling in the corner, earpiece in place, picking up Test Match Special over internet radio. And how is it that you can be nervous even though you know the result?

And of course you're just gagging to get your lugs around the third tune of week 2.

8 November

What did I tell you, Rodders? This time next year... Here's the latest tune too. So easy...

7 November

Today, in the name of customer service and for my benefit, a heinous crime against the environment was committed.

On my way to work I popped into a cafe to fetch a croissant and a coffee. I ordered and was asked to wait a moment while they sorted it out. When I got to work, this is what I discovered.

The croissant is wrapped in a paper sleeve and is then put into a plastic bag. The cardboard coffee cup has a cardboard sleeve put around it and is put into a second plastic bag. The two plastic bags are then put into a paper bag. Which is then put into a plastic bag.

Week 2 of Name that Tune begins today, so try your luck with this terribly easy starter.

6 November

Whenever I'm kidnapped by gangsters and am being driven around in the boot of a speeding car, how I always wish there was a quick and easy way to open the boot from the inside and facilitate my escape.

Now I need wish no longer. This little beauty glows in the dark and has no tricky words to decipher. So next time you step on mafia toes, better hope they've unwittingly bought a car with this handy little device. (Better also hope they haven't found it and removed it.)

5 November

Ah the smell of woodsmoke, the crowd murmuring "Ooh!" and "Aah!", as we celebrate the failed attempt by a catholic gang to blow up the King and government. I haven't made a guy that I burn, but I might sacrifice a Pokemon or something to give Guy Fawkes night that Japanese flavour (and satisfy my desire to burn Pokemon).

My cup of tremendous excitement runneth over today. First I found a new mine of Engrish. It appears that the Japanese developers of my playstation football game took some inspiration from their time in the Rainham End at Gillingham. What are the odds, eh?

Secondly, I am now fully Skyped-up. So wherever you are in the world, beware the phone that rings at 3 in the morning, for it may be me, and I may or not be making sense, depending on the football results that day.

4 November

It's a hard life, if you're David Frost. There comes a time in every ruthless millionaire peer's career when you have to think beyond the massive paycheck and chauffeur-driven cars. As you reach a pensionable age, you have to consider whether you have trampled on enough people and trashed enough careers to keep you secure in your frail dotage.

And if the answer is a resounding "No", then you must, once again just as you did at the beginning of your career (the names Peter Cook and Jonathan Miller might jog a fading memory), put your morals on the backburner and bend over for the cash.

So Frost will be taking his drawling sycophancy to the Qatar-based mouthpiece of terrorist propaganda, al-Jazeera TV. Not a subtle move, certainly, but when your whole career has been jump-started by shamelessly passing off other people's work as your own, who needs subtlety?

Expect to see Frosty's "first and exclusive" fawning interview with that playful scamp, Mr bin-Laden, on a screen near you soon.

On a lighter note, here's the last of this week's musical tests. We'll start again next week with another, slightly more demanding quartet.

3 November

I'm all about caring and sharing today. Some random surfing the other day brought me to what I think is a Romanian ad agency - Graffiti BBDO who won awards for this set of portraits of 20th century icons: [1], [2] and [3].

! Also today we travel into the normally staid and vanilla-flavoured world of mainstream Japanese comedy. In a country that doesn't know political correctness, lives Haado Gei ("Hard Gay"), Masaki Sumitani's leather-clad, hotpanted, manic pelvis-thrusting comedy alter ego. He runs around the city in his S&M gear accompanied by a Ricky Martin backing track, delightedly screaming " Hooo!" while committing acts of 'social improvement', like having parks cleared of litter, helping old ladies across the street with their shopping, that sort of thing. Smutty and slutty on the one hand, but socially responsible on the other. In one segment, he broke into Yahoo! Japan's HQ claiming that the Hoo! in Yahoo! was stolen from his catchphrase, and demands in turn to be used in their ads as recompense. They don't agree to that, but they do allow him to string himself up in blue lights and suspend himself hundreds of feet above the ground from the logo on their roof.

He is a perceived stereotype of the libidinous urban homosexual, over the top in every way and shameless. And that is precisely why he can not only get away with it but be immensely popular in a country as conservative as Japan. You won't see homosexuality being presented as mainstream, there are no openly gay characters on regular tv shows. But because he is presented as a caricature, a cartoon almost, he is deemed to be 'safe'. I'm not going to get into a debate on the issue. I just think that, all those issues aside, he's really funny.

But on to more important matters, namely Name that Tune - Day 3! ("It's day three in the 'Name that Tune' house. Most of the competitors are still trying to get their computers to play sound clips...")

2 November

Prime Minister Koizumi has said that he will stand down next year, so there's been much speculation as to who his successor will be. In his cabinet reshuffle this week, he's gathered all the usual suspects to the top positions, namely Taro Aso as Foreign Minister, Sadakazu Tanigaki as Finance Minister and the bookies' favourite Shinzo Abe as Chief Cabinet Secretary. He'll only be 52 when the time comes, a mere boy in Japanese political terms, so there's hope for this reformist agenda. He is a conservative in the American sense, a critic of China and a hardliner on other issues like North Korea.

Aso, as Foreign Minister, is a bit of a puzzle. He's an outspoken ultranationalist (that's just a polite way of saying racist, isn't it?) who regularly touts the superiority of the Japanese 'race'. So at a time when communication between Japan and its Asian neighbours is at its most precarious, the PM's going to send out this little soldier. No wonder Koizumi's always smirking.

Today is also Matchday 2 of Name that Tune! So get your lugholes around this little number.

1 November

Happy All Souls, everyone! Hopefully your windows remain un-egged, and your car isn't wrapped in pink toilet paper, and you've managed to see off all the demons, goblins and hell's minions for another year.

In November, Overoften's going all musical. We're gonna play Name that Tune, for very exciting prizes to be announced at the end of the month. So earphones on, here's your starter for ten.